


Breaking the cycle

by Bellarke319



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Adventure & Romance, F/M, Fluff, I'm Bad At Tagging, New Planet, Post-Season/Series 05 Finale
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-29
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-04 08:28:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15837540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bellarke319/pseuds/Bellarke319
Summary: Post season 5 Bellamy and Clarke must learn to trust each other and admit there feeling for each other so that they can survive and thrive on the new plant and finally break the cycle of war loss and painI am a new fanfic writer so the story will get better as I lean moreI do not own the 100 all rights go to Jason r and Kass Morgan





	1. Chapter 1

Clarke's POV  
I look out of the large window at the new planet before me. The two suns orbiting around it making it look so much more beautiful it has to be bigger than earth was but not much more. "What we going to do then?" Bellamy asks me I wipe away the tears from my face and sigh. " I guess we wake up some more people like the rest of SpaceKru and Maddie" I tell him. Things are still frosty between me and him I know he says he forgives me but I don't think he really does. I'm still angry he put the flame in Maddie's head but I now understand it was the right thing to do. The only choice. Funny it always seems to be the only choice with us. Bellamy removes his arm from around my shoulder I didn't even notice he had his arm around me and was about to leave the room. "Bellamy wait" I shout after him he stopped by the door and turned to look at me. " I'm sorry I shouldn't have left you to die" I tell him I look down at my feet "I have already told you the commander has ordered for me to forgive you and I guess you can say we are even" he tells me. The problem is I don't want him to forgive me because he thinks he has too or should I want him to forgive me because he forgives me. "That wasn't the same thing" I respond him leaving me 6 years ago no 131 years ago was not the same as me leaving him in the bunker he had to do that to save our friends. He nods in response and walks out of the door too let out our friends. His new family. 

Bellamy's POV   
I walk down the narrow corridors until I arrive at the Cryo chambers. I can't stop thinking about what Maddie has said Clarke had radioed me every day for 6 years. I know I spoke to her about it quickly before we went to sleep but I think there is more to be discussed. I wish we could go back to the old times when me and Clarke was so close we was almost one mind. The head and the heart unable to work without the other. The 6 years on the ark was hard especially the first few years It felt like I was drowning in the guilt and grief of losing her. I would just look out of the window for hours begging hoping that she was still out there. I shook my head to get rid of the memories of that terrible time and walk over to echos pod. I push the button and the small 'bed' hisses and opens echos eyes flutter open and she gives me a small smile. I return the smile and she steps out of the bed she looks around then gives me a quizzical look. " I'll explain in a bit we need to wake up the rest of SpaceKru and Heda" I tell her she nods and gives me a quick kiss on my cheek I go over and open up raven and Murphy. I can't believe I'm going to have to tell them that harper and Monty are gone and have left behind there son Jordan. I blink back tears at the loss of my friends two of the original 100. Not only do I have to tell them they are gone but so is earth and for real this time. After everyone is up I direct them too the bridge were Clarke and Jordan are. Were they will get the news that there friends who were like family are gone and so is there home and how we must start again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some becho in this but it is a bellarke story:)

Bellamy's POV  
Clarke and I stand in front of the large window that is now closed with the help of Jordan. I look at the few people me and Clarke chose to awaken first. Everyone in the room is clearly anxious to know why we are the only few to be awake. A few have spotted Jordan but have yet to say anything or questions who he was. I take a deep breath and look at Clarke " there has been some...complications” I start struggling to find the words.  
"We have been asleep for longer then ten years. We have in fact been asleep for over 125 years now" Clarke tells the small crowed who now gasp  
"Then how come I still feel like crap" Murphy yells out. I roll my eyes of course Murphy would be one to crack a stupid joke even now  
"Why haven't you grown up in 125 years?" I answer back jokingly " there is also something else that I think you guys should see" I tell them my voice now more serious and saddened. I walk over to the computer and push play on the first video diary and Monty's face pops up. All of SpaceKru rush to the front Dioza ,Maddie and Shaw stand back though still watching closely 

"May we meet again" Monty says before the screen goes black  
"May we meet again" everyone whispers. Raven and echo are now huddled together In a corner sobbing from the loss of there friends. Emori cries into a stunned Murphys chest as he strokes her hair allowing a few tears of his own fall. I should go over to echo to comfort her. I feel a hand on my shoulders as I am about to go to echo I know it is clarke and with the simple touch on the shoulder I understand. We must lead now we can mourn the loss of Monty and Harper later but now we must decide what we are to do.

Clarke's POV  
Bellamy stops moving and turns towards the crowd again clearly understanding the message. That one thing I love about our friendship witch I thought we had lost. The ability to understand what the other is saying without actually speaking. I look at the small crowd in front of us most of them was still crying and visibly upset. I feel bad to call them back to the centre of the room but we must decide what to do mourn our loss later.  "The rations we have will last us around 2 weeks 3 if we are lucky. So we must make a decision what to do soon if not now" I tell them there are nods while people dry there eyes and try to collect themselves. " we will give you some time to grieve and get to know Jordan we will meet up back here in 3 hours" I explain. The small crowd disbands and Bellamy goes to comfort a still crying echo. Bellamy and echo I still can't figure that out. He went to space hating her and I know 6 years is a long time but not that long. I hang back awkwardly as Maddie approaches me .  
"Are you mad at me?" She quietly asks  
"Why would I be mad at you?" I question.  
"That I told Bellamy about the radio calls. I just thought he should know" she tells me still looking at her feet. I bend down to her level  
"Maddie I'm not mad at you I would never have had the courage to tell him but it still wasn't your place to tell him" I explain she looks up from her feet and gives me a mischievous grin  
"Could I blame it on the commanders telling me to do it?" She giggles.  I smile at her shaking my head as she runs off to go talk to Jordan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys like this chapter and the story again sorry for another short chapter. Please comment I would love to hear your feedback


	3. Chapter 3

Ravens POV

I have decided to spend the 3 hours we have to find out as much about this planet as possible. I still can't believe that Monty and Harper didn't go to sleep. I wish they would have told us so we would have gotten a real goodbye. There isn't much information on the planet other than what Monty had already told us so I went to search for shaw. I feel 2 arms snake around my waist and I instantly turn round ready to attack whoever has hold of me. "Whoa it's just me I thought you would want some company at the moment" shaw explains letting go of me and placing his hands up in surrender. "Sorry It's just habit" I say placing my arms around his neck. He leans in and gives me a gentle kiss. To think not only 2 weeks ago he was the enemy now well I can't see myself without him. It's weird after Finn died I didn't think that I could be with anyone else then there was wick and he was nice but it was too soon. "What u thinking about?" He asks me "You" I say grinning "and how awesome we are"

Murphy's POV

I still can't quite believe it there actually gone. I stand in the corner of the room looking out to the now almost empty space. I sit down and wince in pain from the bullet wound that is still fresh and very painful. The stab of physical pain comes along with a aching mental pain reminding me that because of Monty I am here. I was willing to be left behind on earth which would have been my death so both he and emori could live but him being Monty refused. Always saving are asses he was and here he might have just done it again. I force myself up ignoring the pain in my shoulder and make my way over to the large window. "Pretty cool huh?" A voice I didn't really recognise says from behind me. I turn to see Jordan he is the perfect mix of Harper and Monty. "It's not bad" I reply turning back to the window "your old man has saved us again" I snort he sighs in response. I turn to look at him tears swelling in his eyes "they was good people Harper was one of the most caring people I had met and Monty he was as caring as he was smart he saved us....me so many times and I was an asshole and never even thanked him" I tell him tears now filling my eyes. Jordan now has tears streaming down his eyes I awkwardly pull him in for a hug obviously not used to the whole social interaction he hesitates before returning the hug. "He knew you was great full and cared about him you was his family" Jordan whispers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very emotional chapter but I just wanted to write how I thought SpaceKru would react to the marper death especially Murphy with Monty hope you liked it :)


	4. Chapter 4

Echo's POV

"Nothing will change when we get to the ground" bellamy's words bounce around in my head as I sit on one of the Cryo pods. Then I hear Maddie's words just moments after being back on the ground "Clarke knew you would come" at that moment I knew everything was going to change. I didn't want to believe it I didn't let myself believe it but it's the sad truth Bellamy was in love with Clarke and probably always will be. He would never admit it but everyone could see it the first  few months on the ring he didn't talk to anyone he barely ate anything he would just look out to space at earth. Slowly he started to lead again would mutter stuff under his breath like the "head and the heart" and " won't let her die in vain" we all knew who he was talking about. Now them stood in front of a bunch of scared people side by side like it should be. I know Bellamy loves me but I know he loves her more. Even though she left him to die and he put the flame in Maddie's head and six years apart they still look at each other with all the love in the world and I just can't compete with that.

Bellamy's POV

Something is wrong with echo when we called the 3 hour brake she disappeared. I went looking for her but was stopped by a bunch of questions from SpaceKru and the other handful of people who was awake. When I finely found her she was sat on one of the few empty Cryo pods crying. I slowly walked over to her and pulled her in for a hug she hugged back for a moment before pulling away. " I can't..I can't do this" she says fresh tears welling in her eyes. " it's going to be ok nothing is going to change well apart from the planet" I laugh trying to cheer her up. "Never going to change" she laughed bitterly "this isn't about the new planet bellamy" she says looking straight into my eyes. "Then what is it?" I ask already knowing the answer. Its about me and Clarke she has been acting strangely ever since we found out she was alive I made my self believe it was just the war and being back on the ground but it wasn't. "You love clarke you always have and always will. I know you love me Bellamy I do but that's when you thought she was gone and now...now she is back" she says tears now spilling from her eyes and slipping down her cheeks. I can't really deny what she is saying after leaving Clarke here I realised I did love Clarke more then just a friend but she was dead. I fell in love with echo and I love echo but being back with Clarke has brought back those feelings I buried deep down. "I-"  I start "Don't deny it bellamy do not tell me it is not true because I am not blind" she yells cutting me off. I look down unable to meet her eyes "It's true I did love clarke and i still do even now but I do love you echo I'm sorry" I whisper tears now forming in my eyes. She places her hands on my cheeks and brings my head up so I'm looking her in the eyes " I know bellamy. Your a good guy you wouldn't do this on purpose but after seeing Monty and Harper's videos I think we both deserve people who  we truly love and I'm just not that for you" she says with a smile she plants a kiss on my cheek and I smile at her. "Oh there you are it's time" clarke yells frustrated as she enters the narrow room " oh sorry umm come when your ready" she says much quieter after she spots echo. I quickly collect myself give echo a small smile before turning around to look at Clarke. "Let's go save the human race again" I say with a smirk.


	5. Chapter 5

Clarke’s POV

Bellamy seems oddly quiet as we walk back to the viewing room. I guess it’s because we have such a big decision on our hands well really there is no decision. It’s either go to the ground or sleep forever I have a feeling it’s going to be going to the ground. The small amount of people are already gathered when me and Bellamy get there. We stand in front of the crowd who fall silent. “Ok so what do we know about this planet other then what Monty has told us?” I ask looking at raven “They have some serum that modifies there blood to filter the radiation” dioza informs the group. I look at her in surprise but remember when they had me chained up shaw had said something about that. “Like nightbood?” Bellamy questions. “ I think so I’m not sure though but that would make sense” Dioza agreed “also there not prisoners. The people who went down was farmers and scientists that’s all I know”

“Well it’s more then we knew a few minutes ago so thank you. Raven do you think you could make nightblood up here? everyone should become one to be on the safe side “ bellamy asks raven. This isn’t good even if we are able to make it up here half of the people will reject it. There will be a riot when followers of the commander finds out. I lock eyes with maddie and she simply shakes her head confirming my thoughts the commanders in her head are telling her the exact same thing.

Maddie’s POV

Everyone becoming a nightblood the commanders inside my head are screaming at me that this is unacceptable. I know it is what we must do to survive but others will not like it. I look at Clarke again she is still staring at me I know she knows that this will cause problems. I start to panic as I think of telling all those people they must go against there beliefs. I search the small crowed for Octavia I find her and a dark expression is on her face. I wonder if she is thinking about the bunker and eat or die when she has to force people against there beliefs so they would survive. Will I have to do that? I shudder at the thought that completely broke Octavia but unlike her I have Bellamy and Clarke by my side I wish she had them by her side. Whatever clarke and Bellamy was saying I couldn’t hear over the sound of my own heart beat I wasn’t ready for this. The commanders couldn’t or wouldn’t help me. The group disbanded once again but this time people broke off into groups and went and did jobs. I forced myself forward towards Bellamy and Clarke. “They won’t like it” I say louder then I was ment to. “I know maddie but it may be the only way for us to survive” Clarke tells me What if they refuse? What then?” I ask still rather loud . “We simply tell them it’s that or die” Bellamy explains I give a panicked and horrified look at Clarke. “That sounds a lot like” I pause for a moment unable to say the word I open my mouth “Eat or die” Octavia says her voice cracking a little bit. Bellamy looks at his sister with a confused expression and that’s when I realise he didn’t know what happened in the bunker. “ I can’t do that” I whisper “You have Clarke and Bellamy. You won’t have to carry that burden alone if that’s what it turns into” Octavia says gently I know she is right but I can’t help but be afraid.

Bellamy’s POV

Eat or die? What did that mean? What had I missed? A million questions fill my head but clearly with the reaction that maddie and Octavia had I have a feeling it’s what turned my sister into the red queen. I wish I had been there for Octavia I really do. I had vowed to protect her and I feel like I have failed once again. I knew had been hard for her leading in the bunker but clearly I didn’t know the half of it. Eat or die. I look at Clarke desperate for answers but she is too busy comforting maddie who is clearly very scared. The commanders have probably abandoned her and will show her there deaths again while she sleeps. I remember that Clarke had mentioned that once when lexa has said blood must not have blood she had nightmares because the commanders disagreed. The thought of how much this young girl has and will go through makes me sick to the stomach. She is too young to lead hell I was too young to lead and I was 23 on the ark you had to grow up fast well he did at least but maddie she should still be just a kid. I had put the flame in her head he had burdened her with the power to lead but it was the only choice. Now I must live with that and help her so she doesn’t have to carry the burden of these decisions alone so she wouldn’t turn into what my sister had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a longer chapter this time hope you guys are enjoying it please comment on what you think also kudos if you like it :)


	6. Chalter 6

Ravens P.O.V 

Me,Abby and Jackson have been trying to make nightblood. I have been trying to Remember from Becca being in my head. Unfortunately I can’t remember any of it that’s actually of any help. “I can’t I can’t do it “ I yell slamming my hands into the desk.  
“We must do this and we can we haven’t lived through 2 apocalypses traveled 75 years to a new planet to go down like this” Jackson says trying to reassure me. He is right we have lived through so much and lost so much I refuse to stop trying. I rest my head against the desk and close my eyes hoping that the solution will come to me but it doesn’t. 

“How are you guys getting on?” Emori asks I wonder how long she and maddie have been here and when I drifted off to sleep. You would think after a 125 year long nap you would be well rested but honestly I feel like I could sleep for another hundred years. “ not good” I tell them taking my head off the desk and pushing myself into a upright position. “I could really do with Becca in my head right about now”   
“Well you might not have her in your head but she is in mine” maddie says with a smile   
“She has told you something?” I ask a little shimmer of hope runs through my body  
“Not exactly but she is willing to help”   
“Amazing we just need to know how to make it or if we even can?” I explain trying to not get too excited things around here tend to go wrong. Maddie’s eyes seem to change although they are the same hazel eyes they now seem to belong to someone else someone much older. Too Becca 

Emori’s P.O.V  
It feels like 6 years ago (well 131) back In Beccas lab trying to figure out nightblood. The memory sends a chill down my spine. I know what happened then will not happen now or at least I hope it won’t. I have left maddie with raven to try and figure out the next steps. I can’t help but wonder if they will test on someone to see if it works. The image of the small glass tube and that guy I framed screaming in pain flashes through my head. I wonder around the ship with no real destination pulling my jacket around me trying to get the horrible image out of my head I have to get away. Running down one of the narrow corridors I bump quite literally into John. “Whoa watch were your going” he says on his usual snarky manner. I mumble an apology and try and push past him but he remains in my way. “What’s going on?” He asks in a much softer voice   
“Nothing I’m fine” I reply bluntly and try and push past him he blocks me again. Irritated I scowl at him. He raises an eyebrow and suddenly the anger just seeps away and tears start to form in my eyes. “It’s 6 years -125 oh however long ago. There makings nightblood and it’s just going around again and although I know they won’t test it on me. They will someone maybe from Diozas people and I know how it feels” I half tell half shout at him.   
“We won’t let it happen” he says matter of factly. Although I know it’s not up to him or me it makes me feel better I let out a sigh of relief and take johns hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being away for so long I will try and update as much as possible please comment


	7. Chapter 7

Ravens P.O.V  
I hold up the test tube with the thick black liquid in it. It took us 27 hours but we finally did it we have created nightblood. Maddie was a really big help and we most definitely would not have been able to do it without her. I look across the table at shaw who fell asleep around an hour ago. He may be smart but he honestly couldn't help with this and so we let him sleep, he looks cute when he is asleep. I walk over and plant a kiss on his cheek. He stirs for a moment but then stills . "Well that's all we can do for now we should get some sleep and disperse this to everyone in the morning" I announce to the rest of the group. Everyone mummers in agreement and drags themselves off to find somewhere to sleep. In one of the larger open rooms quilts and pillows have been placed on the floor to make simple bed like things. I lay on the hard cold floor next to where emori and Murphy are. I try to sleep but I just can't images of everything horrible that could come out of tomorrow fill my head. As I turn over I see that emori is also not asleep I prop myself up on my elbow giving a quick glance to the next row were shaw is sleeping and look back at emori. She sees me and also props herself up on one elbow " can't sleep?" I whisper back although I obviously know the answer. She shakes her head "you?" She asks I shake my head. There is a silence for a moment all you can hear is the small buzz form the engine of the ship "why can't you sleep?" I ask, her whole body tenses up and There is a long silence I begin to think that she wouldn't respond.   
"It's just hard you know I get used to one place and then BAMB it all changes" she explains and let's out a sigh. It must be hard for her and echo so much in there lives have changed in such a short period of time as well as the people of wonkru. I know that's not all that is bothering emori but I decide not to push it. I lean back down and look up at the ceiling at some point I fall asleep 

Clarke's P.O.V  
My mum and raven managed to successfully make nightblood. Today we will be giving it out to everyone . The guards was the first people we woke up and gave the night blood too so that they could help control the situation if things get out of hand. Before long half of the people have been woken up and have happily accepted the night blood. There have been a few people who have muttered that is was blasphemy but they did take it in the end. Bellamy has still been acting strangely I'm not sure if it's the fact we are going to a new planet, the worry of what the rest of wonkru will be like taking the nightblood,his sister or maybe even echo. Years ago i would have been able to tell which  it was in a single glance now I can never seem to tell what he is thinking.   
"No I will not accept this! This is dishonour to our faith to heda" screams Gia.   
"Gia" Indra warns "this is what must be done to save our people you know that. I almost lost you once and I will not lose you because you refuse this"   
"It's my faith as a flame keeper I swore to protect the flame,the commanda and the faith itself I will not go against my faith and neither should these people " Gia hisses at her mother. She is starting to form an audience people who have already taken the blood trade concerned looks. Bellamy runs his hands through his curls taking a deep breath he walks up to Gia " then you must take it " Bellamy simply states Gia gives him a confused look as if to say did you not hear my speech. She opens her mouth to say something but Bellamy interrupters her "if you die witch you likely will if you don't take this you can not do any of what you just said. You keep the faith alive by protecting maddie and the flame. So you must live just like I said when you almost gave up in the fight for the valley." He explains firmly. Gia glares at him considering what he just said. After a few moments she sits down and takes the blood. Clarke lets out a sigh of relief. " Bellamy giving his famous inspirational speeches again I see" Murphy says as he sits down to get his shot with the blood in it. "Shut up Murphy " I say a smile creeping onto my lips. It's true though Bellamy has always been good at giving speeches which was very annoying at the start of our  relationship. He could always get the 100 on his side by saying a few simple words they trusted and followed him. Some part of me longs for the time when he was just the annoying rebel leader who got on my nerves now he is so much more and it's so very confusing. I can't lie to myself anymore spending 1 year completely on your own and then the other 5 with just a young child gives you time to think. Everyday that passed the more and more I couldn't stop thinking about Bellamy around the 6 or 7th moth I realised He meant a whole lot more to me then just being my best friend and co leader. I loved and still do love  him so when he turned up and was with echo of all people it hurt obviously I didn't expect him to wait for me. I was dead gone I knew that but some part of me just really wanted him to come home see me and wrap me in his arms and tell me he loves me  aswell now that will never happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna start with a sorry if I messed up any of the names in this fic I’m no good at spelling names. I now know what kinda direction I want to take this book long term and short terms so chapters should be coming out more often and being as long as this one. Please comment and give kudos if you like it  
> :)


	8. Chapter 8

Clarke's P.O.V

Everything seems to be going to plan nearly nobody rejected the blood. It seems to almost be going to well. We will launch tomorrow to the ground but for now we have a free day off. I walk around the large ship feeling out of place. I have become so used to the ground the constant humming of the ship is beginning to annoy me. I find a small room possibly a storage closet and sit trying to block out as much noises possible. I lay my head against the cold metal and drift off to sleep. I'm awoken by a noise coming from somewhere down the corridor. Peering out of the room I see Bellamy who seems to have had the same idea as me although he should be used to the noise by now. Bellamy appears by my door

"Oh hi I didn't know anyone was in here" he awkwardly explains.

"Don't worry about it" I reply with a small smile. There are a few moments of awkward silence. Bellamy moves nervously from side to side before asking "do you wanna... I don't know sit and chat?" I hate this awkwardness between us and just wanna turn back time I know I can't do that but maybe chatting might start the process of getting back to what we was before. I jump up to my feet and all the blood rushes to my head making my dizzy I trip and almost fall but Bellamy catches me before I hit the ground. Embarrassed my cheeks turn a red colour as a steady myself . We walk down the corridor to the food hall which is relatively quiet. "So what do you wanna talk about?" I ask trying to get straight to the point. Bellamy fidgets nervously

"Honestly I don't know a lot has happened in the past few years and we didn't really get to discuss it before going into Cryo" he tells me. I obviously understand I have been feeling the same way I wish I had told him more about the radio calls ,what it was like the years he was gone but I have no idea where to start.

"Let's start with something simple,if simple even exists" I suggest

"How about maddie? She is a lovely girl when and how did you find her?" Bellamy asks. I smile at the memory of the young girl

"Around about a year after prime fire she was in the valley must not have been much older then 6 god knows how she managed to survive all that time alone. She is strong the first time I met her she ran me into some bear traps I still have a scar" I tell him lifting the edge of my trouser leg to show the slightly faded scare. Bellamy gives a little chuckle at the thought of Maddie attacking me. Another awkward silence as I try to figure out how or if I should bring up the radio calls again. If I even did I couldn't tell him the real reasons behind them I can't just be like "oh yeah I radioed you everyday for 6 years because I'm in love you but now you have echo and it's driving me crazy" yeah that's definitely not going to work

 

Bellamys P.O.V

I really want to ask about the radio calls but I know I can't just dive straight into that kinda thing. Honestly I'm not even sure what I wanna know about them. She radioed me everyday for 6 years what does that even mean? Could she possibly feel the same way about me as I do her? I push that thought out of my head of course she doesn't although sometimes it's nice to think what if she did that was just a fantasy Clarke will never see me as anything other then her partner. I decided to just jump straight into it now no more beating around the bush.

"So the radio calls do you wanna talk about that a little more?" I ask her cheeks turn a light pink colour. God she is so damn cute.

"What would you like to know about them?" She responds confidently I feel like it's something she is wanting to get off her chest.

"Why?" I ask simply hoping to get as much as a direct answer as possible

"Well I was stuck in beccas lab for I don't know around a month I found the rover. For some reason I have no idea why I just decided to try to contact you guys. It was lonely especially the first year and radioing got me through it. At first I was talking to everyone but by the end I was just messaging you Bellamy. I missed you" her voice cracks on the last few words and a few tears slide down her cheeks she takes a deep breath and continues " and I know what I did was wrong in polis leaving you but Maddie is all I have. You have spacekru and echo I just have Maddie and I can't let anyone put her in danger"' I understand I was the same with Octavia like Maddie said when she told me about the calls I had made many a mistakes protecting Octavia the child I loved. Clarke is a mum now and she has to think about her child first not anyone else.

"I forgive you" I state simply this time I mean it 100% not just the commander made me but I actually do.

"Well then maybe you can convince your girlfriend not to kill me. Since we woke up she has been looking at me like she might just do it" she says with a half hearted laugh.

"She isn't my girlfriend anymore so your on your own with that one" I tell her. She stops fiddling with her coat zip and looks me in the eye my heart starts beating so fast I feel as if it might just jump out of my chest.

"Why what happened?" She asks trying to be sympathetic but it doesn't come off too genuine. I shrug in response she takes that as I don't want to talk about it but honestly how could I tell her it's because I'm in love with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not posting in a while I have been busy with school and have really bad toothache


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick warning this is most definitely not one of my best chapters I wrote it at 2 am and it’s kinda all over the place the next chapter is going to to be much better and longer but still I hope you enjoy it

Bellamys P.O.V

Today is day we will make our journey to the new planet. Before we go we are having a council meeting on the best way to go about it. I'm not really paying attention shaw is giving us the statistics of chance of life down on the ground which seem fairly high. The group discuss among themselves the plan once they hit the land but it all seems too unrealistic.

 

So far nothing has gone wrong and that's not the norm for us. We usually land ourselves in the middle of a war fighting for survival ever since we touched the ground on earth the first time. "We shouldn't all go down at once " dizo says over the loud crowd

"Then who should we send first?" Maddie questions giving her a sideways glance she still doesn't trust her or her men.

"I don't know" she reply's with a shrug earning herself an eye roll from maddie.

"We could send down diozas men" Abby suggests. She now has my attention she surely can't be suggesting what I think she is.

"And why would that be?" Dioza asks defensively

"There of less importants" Abby says returning her focus back to her note book. Ever since we have been awake Abby has been trying to figure out a way to save kane. She hasn't slept in 3 days and it's starting to send her crazy. I try to remember this as the words she just spoke bounce around my head. The world seems to be spinning and any noise from the room seems far away. I squeeze my eyes shut trying to regain focus slowly the noise creeps back in.

"Are you crazy?" Murphy screams across the table. Abby doesn't respond she has tunes out and her sole focus now back on the book. Clarke gives her mother worried glances while trying to calm the group.

"That's NOT happening" clarke forcefully tells the group. I meet Clarke's eyes for a moment her eyes are filled with panic and sadness. She tears her eyes away from mine and walks her mother out of the room.

 

 

Clarke's P.O.V

How could she have said that? That wasn't her mother maybe her old self but not now. I'm starting to wonder if everything that's happened so far has finally taken its toll on her and Kane was the final straw. Still I can't help but be angry after all that has happened the thought of repeating the very actions which left us in this mess never entered my head.

 

I re-enter the command room everyone has seemed to have settled down apart from Murphy who is stood in the corner having a heated argument/conversation with Bellamy. Bellamy eventually wins the argument and a sulking Murphy returns to the table.

"Ok let me first make it very clear that I do not believe in what my mother just said and neither does she. She is consumed with guilt and grief at this moment and doesn't mean any of it I swear." I inform the group. I get a few confused and questionable looks but nobody says anything.

"I think it would be best if me clarke Dioza and the rest of space kru apart from raven will go down first" Bellamy tells the group raven begins to protest but Bellamy cuts her off " you and shaw need to stay up here keep the ship ok and im only talking a few days just long enough to know what's what". Suddenly it feels like 6 years ago all over again bellamy taking charge. The image of Bellamy stood at the drop ship door about to pull the lever flashes before me.

"The air could be toxic" I say looking straight at bellamy. I search is face for any sign he recognises the words. It was years ago so much has happened he probably doesn't even remember our first words to one and other.

"If the airs toxic were all dead anyway" he responded with his trademark grin.

 

Authors notes

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hi this is my first ever fanfic so the chapters will be short at first but the more into the story I get the longer they will probably be :) plz comment and kudos thank you


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